he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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