is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize