What did we do last night that was yellow?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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