drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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