Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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