you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
