This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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