How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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