you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
