the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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