Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
