Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
