Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
