Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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