His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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