Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
