Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
organizing the empties. That sober.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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