i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just forgot I was standing up.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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