me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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