She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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