Nicole vs. Life
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
