idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
