It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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