I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
