I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
North Korea, Best Korea!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Randomize
