I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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