I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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