so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
