As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
