He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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