your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
