he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
