its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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