I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize