I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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