I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
