So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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