So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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