my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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