cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
