I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
