hell yes lets make some ravioli
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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