and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize