drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
