Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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