Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
