I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize