she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Alive.
So much puke
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
