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Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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