just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize