Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
