Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
