:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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