It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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