I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
